A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
