You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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