Don't you send me to vm
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
