I'm lost and stupid without you.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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