I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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