Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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