What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
