Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I need moral support for this bender
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
