I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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