He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize