if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
