I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize