Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
