i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
