Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
