I just gift wrapped bread.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
