I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
