Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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