I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
