I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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