What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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