there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
