I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
third nipple confirmed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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