I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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