and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
