i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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