R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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