He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
