just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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