I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize