Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
