I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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