Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
