my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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