Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
