"it" just moved
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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