I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
