i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
