Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
