yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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