dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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