I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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