Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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