Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
