so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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