I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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