If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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