he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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