I'm jealous of your bromance
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
