You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
