Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
