he was CRYING into my vagina
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
