Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
