"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
