Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You can't special order awesome
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
