I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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