Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
