let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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