Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
