i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
