I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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