this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize