I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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